12/10/00

     Mike still had tears in his eyes. "Dad, what were you so mad about?"

     An innocent question from a holy child has a way of bringing clarity to an otherwise muddled set of emotions and thoughts. Minutes ago, I had an argument about Christmas gifts with my wife. Sue's parents bought our eight-year-old Mikey one of those new Razor scooters for Christmas. I had heard of all the reports about this hot new Christmas craze, including broken scooters, broken wrists and head injuries. I resisted allowing them to present this gift to our son, fearing for his safety. But I made the concession that if we purchased quality knee, elbow and wrist guards and he always wore his helmet, he could have his wish for Christmas.

     Earlier this evening, as the clerk showed us the different kinds of rigid wrist guards, Sue mentioned that they were for a Razor scooter. "He'll never be able to hold onto the handlebars with these guards on. They're made for skating." She informed us that they don't make them for the new scooters.

     This led to a hot discussion in the toy store aisle.

     "Then I'm not going to allow him to have it."

     "What will we tell my parents? What will Mikey say when his cousins open theirs and he doesn't get one?"

     "That doesn't matter. I said he could have it with the proper wrist guards. They won't work with the scooter. So he's not getting it."

     "But that's all he's been asking for these last few months . . . and it's already wrapped! Mikey's going to be so upset. He never asks for anything!"

     "He'll be fine."

     My mind was made up, and Sue's pleading couldn't overcome my resolve. Yes, Mikey is indeed a sweet innocent child who never asks for anything. Yes, he would be upset. But I could not overcome my intuition that this gift was not right for him. Later, at home, Sue sat down with Mikey and explained to him why he would not be receiving a scooter this Christmas. She truly has the soul of a mother, with a wellspring of compassion and tenderness not always found among modern moms. Despite her best efforts though, Mikey was visibly crestfallen, and tears welled up in his eyes. She did her best to console him.

     "I told you he'd be upset. Did you really think he wouldn't be?", Sue said to me in the kitchen.

     "No, I knew he would be upset. I never said he wouldn't. I said he'd be OK though, and now he's OK, isn't he?"

     "Yeah, but he was really upset. What's the matter with you, anyhow?"

     And then I went into my anti-materialism-at-Christmas diatribe. While mostly true, it was lost on the mind of an eight-year-old, and only befuddled my wife, with whom I had failed to share my growing anxiety and frustration that day. I was upset all day during shopping, with this confusing sense that something about this whole mad dash was terribly wrong--to find the right toys and the right balance among the three children and the need to have an equal number of presents to open and an equal amount of spending while fulfilling as nearly as possible their Christmas wish lists, and how upset each would be if their number one wish failed to materialize Christmas morning under the tree. This just could not be the real meaning of Christmas, and it just cannot be the sense of the Christmas season that we should be conveying to our children. But I failed miserably to convey these ideas to Sue, and for Mikey, I must have sounded like a raving monster.

     A phone call ended my "grinch monologue," and Sue took the children up to bed.

     I settled into my den to read, when Mikey showed up, still visibly upset, this time more over my angry ranting than the fact that he wouldn't get his scooter at Christmas.

     "Dad, what were you so mad about?"

     Well, I thought, just how do I repair this evening for this wonderful child, my first born son. "Please Lord, a little inspiration," I pleaded.

     "Mikey, what is Christmas about?"

     "Well, giving, I guess. And Jesus' birth."

     "Yes, God gave us his Son, Jesus. Why was Jesus born?"

     "To help us?"

     "Yes, but to help us what?"

     A silent pause.

     "Why did Jesus come to earth Mikey?"

     "Because He loved us?"

     Yes, because He loved us. Mikey knew the basics, but we both needed to know a little more, so I simply reviewed a little, hoping I'd think of something to make sense out of my muddled thoughts and emotions and his innocent hurt.

     "God sent Jesus to save us from our sin. We sin because of Adam and Eve's First Sin. Jesus came, He was born on Christmas Day, so that we could return to Heaven, which we lost by Original Sin and our own sin. God gave us His Son, on Christmas. That was when God's Son became Incarnate. So Christmas is about giving, yes. God gave us a Savior."

     "But what is the greatest thing any person ever gave to God, Mike? The greatest thing any human person ever did in all of history? Remember what happened? The Angel Gabriel appeared unto Mary, and said, "Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Behold, you will conceive and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus." And remember, Mary said, "How can this be? I' m not married." And the angel said that the Holy Spirit would overshadow her and the child would be called the Son of God. What did Mary say? She said, "Yes." She said, "Let it be done to me according to your word."

     "Mary gave her will, her "Yes." She did not make a wish list for that first Christmas. She didn't ask for any details, or any gifts or even any explanation. She just said yes. She gave herself to God's Divine Providence, and held nothing back. She gave up her own will, and accepted God's Holy Will. And by giving up her own will, she allowed the Son of God to be Incarnate in her womb, and received without asking for anything the greatest gift known to man."

     "What's the meaning of Christmas, Mike? Its not about making up lists of what we want to get. It's about giving ourselves to God. It's about giving our hearts to Him, and converting. It's about giving up our own will, our own wish list, and accepting God's will, His wish list, for us. That's what Mary did that first Christmas. She didn't ask for anything except that God's Will be done. And it was, and Jesus was born, and we were saved, all because of Mary saying yes. That's why we need to try not to be upset when we don't GET what we want. Christmas isn't about getting, its about GIVING our hearts to God like Mary did."

     Then I reminded Mikey about his own act of selfless giving last week, and this was for me a perfect example of the kind of giving Mary did, not expecting anything in return.

     Our main gift for Mikey's six year old little sister, Marie, is to be a Barbie doll house this year. But I had to design it, and I'm building it, from scratch. Mikey is my helper on this secret project. I'm not a woodworker, so I have none of the tools necessary. Last week we were going to borrow a table saw, but at the last minute the owner backed out, and I was left without the saw necessary to make the cuts this design requires. Being the Christmas season, and money is tight, I couldn't justify spending the money on a new saw for myself, and I was quite upset at this turn of events.

     On Thursday Mikey came running onto my office shouting, "Dad, I've got a surprise for you!" Beaming, he led me out to our van, where he proudly showed me a brand new table saw. Mikey knew I needed a table saw to build his sister's doll house for Christmas, so he asked Sue if he could use the money he received from his First Holy Communion to buy me one. He was saving it for himself to purchase a basketball hoop set.

     Mikey gave up his will for the use of his own money so that I would have the saw necessary so that his sister would get her Barbie doll house in time for Christmas. Marie doesn't even know she's getting a doll house, and has not asked, because she knew the wooden ones at the store were too expensive.

     "That, Mikey, is what Christmas is all about. . . giving all we have, our entire body, mind, and soul without reserve and without asking for something in return. And receiving the infinite, God's very Son. There is no greater gift."

     Fortunately, God gave me the words and concepts to explain these things to Mikey, and afterwards he understood it all better and was accepting of his prospects for Christmas morning. His is a rare soul, willing at a young age to give all his worldly possessions, in love, for his sister's happiness this Christmas and his dad's new work shop, and willing to accept that he won't get his own wish for this Christmas. I wish I was as generous and freely giving. Like Mary, I think he'll get something he was not expecting for his selfless giving. It will only be a basketball hoop set. But also like Mary, I can see he already gives his heart to Jesus and holds Jesus close to his heart this Christmas. That is what it's about. That is the meaning of Christmas.